Love Your Mother

I love my Mom.

We don't always get along. In fact we have had some pretty bad arguments in our day, but what Mother/Daughter duo hasn't?

For those of you that don't know her, let me tell you a bit about my Mom.

My Mother's ancestry is a nice little mixture of Cherokee and Irish. She was born and raised in Tyner, Kentucky and is the eldest of five children. She practically raised her brothers and sisters from the time she was nine years old. I'll not go into details here as to why that is, but just know that its the truth. She grew up poor, but it made her strong and determined to have a better life one day.

There are things I still don't understand about my Mother. Things she does and says that drive me batty. We definitely don't always see eye to eye, but I still love her.

She has her faults but we all do and its taken me some time to come to terms with the fact that neither of my parents are perfect. They just are who they are and we all try to get along.

Which I have to say, getting along with my Mother has been a lot easier since I started my new job. I'm not home when she's at home. We get along perfect that way. :-) See my shift is from 4:30 p.m. until 1:00 a.m. She leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and doesn't get home until 4:30 or so. We don't really see each other until my days off and on Sundays. This makes for a lot more pleasant quality time together.

And we've been spending a lot more quality time together as well. She was my concert buddy last weekend in Lexington. Nothing quite as fun as seeing your prim and proper (because trust me, she is a lot more prim and proper than me) Mother getting soaked in a downpour at a country music concert. Well...maybe the fact that I also got her a wee bit drunk and tried to get her to dance and sing along with me added to the fun quotient. My Mom just doesn't do that sort of thing and I've decided I'm a bad influence on her because I always try to get her to do stuff like that. :-) I paid for the concert of course. It was my treat. She's 46 and has never been to an actual concert and I felt like it was time that she had that experience. She had a blast. Next time she wants to try a rock concert, but I'm not sure she's ready for that just yet. ;-)

Next week we are high-tailing South over my break from school. We're going to the Big Easy. One of my favorite places in the world. This will make our third trip to New Orleans. I love that city. This year we are getting a place right in the French Quarter and Mom's best friend Louise, and one of my good chums, Hattie, are going with us. I'm doing all the driving and planning, like I always do, but in return Mom has promised to make sure that I make it back to the hotel if I get too tipsy to know where I'm going. :-) She's good about stuff like that.

I could go on and on about what a groovy chick my Mom is, but I'll not bore you to tears with that. I'll not make you sad with any stories about the bad times either. But since Halloween will soon be here, I think I need to tell you this much about my Mom. She is the reason I'm the way I am when it concerns Halloween and anything science fiction or horror. I owe a great deal of gratitude to her for that.

From as far back as I can remember, Mom has always watched shows like Star Trek, The Addams Family, The Munsters, Tales from the Crypt (on the rare occasion we could actually afford HBO), and all manner of anything sci-fi or horror. I've been watching scary movies since I came out of the womb. Mom loves Star Wars too, so I grew up on those movies as well. Some of my favorite movies are the cheesy B-movies with clay-mation monsters and names like "Food of the Gods" because they all make me think of my Mom. I was never allowed to stay up late unless a movie like that was coming on, then she would make special allowances (even on school nights) and set up and watch them with me.

My bedtime stories were ghost stories that she had heard or had experienced herself. Mom is famous for such stories. She can scare most people with the tales she tales. I learned that from her too. That's part of the reason why I love to write so much. I have a binder full of my short stories from the time I was old enough to write on up through high school. Most of them horror stories. I have my Mother to thank for that.

Mom only really reads two types of books. Romance novels (YUCK!!!) and horror novels (YAY!!!). I wasn't much interested in the romance junk as a kid, but I used to beg and beg for the horror novels. She never let me read them. I had to make due with Goosebumps and Fear Street from the school library. I was in high school before she turned over her horror collection to me. It was a small collection, but I've added to it immensely through the years. She borrows horror books from me now. Both of our favorite kinds are zombie stories. I get my love of all things zombie from her too. (Note: This weekend "Zombieland" opens. Mom, Dad, and my brother, Dillon, and I are going Saturday to watch it as a "family movie night." Is it strange that "family movie night" revolves around horror movies? Or that "family TV night" happens to revolve around a show like "Supernatural"? I hope not.) One of our favorite activities when we travel together is to plan for zombie attacks. As in, "If a zombie attack happened right now, what would you do?" Its a great way to keep yourself entertained and keep your imagination going while you are stuck in traffic, believe me.

Mom used to dress up as a witch and chase me around the house too. It didn't matter what time of year it was or what time of day either. If I asked nicely enough (i.e. if I begged and whined), then she would lock herself in the bathroom until she was ready. I would wait eagerly outside the door. When she opened it up I would take off in terror. She would chase me through the house and through the yard, doing her evil witch laugh and I would scream and shriek like a banshee. I was serious too. The game always ended with me crying and begging her to take the outfit back off and never put it on again (only, of course, to do the same thing a week later).
(Mom, Halloween last year)

Mom doesn't brag on me often, she doesn't want me to "get the big head" but when she does, she means it. I've done a lot of things that she didn't get to do and I'm a completely different person from her. I graduated high school, graduated college, I have a "career" rather than a "job", I still live in JC, but its not something permanent. I pay for my own way in life. I don't ask anyone for anything and I don't take crap off of anyone. I'm not afraid to go after whatever it is that I want. I travel. I speak my mind. I'm not afraid to look stupid or make a mistake. Mom is some of those things and some of them she's not. But I've learned how to do those things from watching her. Good or bad, I've learned who I want to be and who I don't want to be, partially from my Mother. And I can't help but to love her for that.


(Mom and Me, back in the day)

This Is Halloween

I love, love, love Halloween!!!

Its not my favorite holiday (that honor goes to Christmas) but it is a very close second.

I've always celebrated Halloween. I was born in May 1982 and my very first Halloween costume came in October 1982. I don't remember it obviously, but I'm told that I made a very cute Raggedy Ann. I dress up for school and for work. If I don't have either, then I dress up and hit the town. I've dressed up every year except for Halloween 2000.

Just a few days before Halloween that year, my older cousin Bridgette passed away. She was 24. I was 18. I just didn't have it in me to dress up that year. It seemed too soon after her death to celebrate anything...let alone something as joyous as Halloween. In all honesty though, Bridgette's death taught me to celebrate Halloween even more. It took me a few years, but shortly after Bridgette passed, I started having a Halloween party of my own for family and friends.

(Bridgette & Me, 1983) (Bridgette's Senior Picture)

It started out simple enough. Our first year it was primarily just family, I paid for most of it, there were a few games and prizes, a Costume Contest, some karaoke, and a "haunted hay maze." As the years went on though, the party grew and grew. These days I can no longer afford to pay for it all because there are just too many people. Its still focused mainly on children but now the children include both family and friends and the occasional neighbor that happens to wander down Nunn Road. Everyone brings candy and food or drinks. Most people dress up (including the adults) and participate in the Costume Contest.


There's always a lot going on at the party, and I usually run myself ragged (I usually have blisters on my feet by the time the night is over...no joke), but I love it. Its worth it every time a kid asks me, "When are we doing this again?!" They are always a little disappointed when I tell them they have to wait until next year.

This year will be the fifth year for the party. I hope to make it bigger and better than before. Costume Contest, karaoke, Lip Syncing Contest, pinata, dancing, games, prizes, haunted house, so on and so forth. Maybe even some after dark scary movies set up outside to get us all in the spooky Halloween mood. Who knows? I like to plan a little...and then play a little by ear. That's just how I am.

Each year I send out invitations to those that are regulars to the party. I call it "April's Annual Halloween Bash" and our motto is "The party don't stop, until somebody cries!" (Because I have successfully made either an adult or a child, and sometimes both, cry from fear before the night is over.) I'm thinking of changing the name though...in honor of Bridgette. After her passing I learned a great deal about the importance and value of life and the people you have in it, especially your family and those you consider to be family. Since I started the party as a way to bring us all closer after her death, I'm thinking of changing the name to reflect that. I'm just not sure what to change it to as of yet.

Anyway, October 24th is the date of the party this year. I hope to see you there. I'll be the man in blue with the pointy ears. ;-)

(My costume this year.)

Mommies, mommies, everywhere!

It occurs to me that most of my "friends" on here are mothers. Most...not all...but most. Originally I started this as a way to chronicle my road to becoming a single Mom (by choice) by becoming artificially inseminated. My intentions haven't changed in the least, but my blog has.


Just as there is more to every Mother than just the fact that she is someone's mother, there is more to me than being the crazy, weird chick that will get knocked up by a test tube. Since I'm not currently planning on implanting any spermies until January 2010, then I wanted to use this blog to post random, and sometimes a bit out there, thoughts and feelings and memories and all that stuff, that run through my head from time to time.


I'm not sure anything I say is worthy of a nomination like Kayla gave me, but I do intend to use this to voice whatever opinions I may have about artificial inseminiation, motherhood, friendship, feminism, and life in general. You are welcome to read it or to not. Hopefully sometime in 2010 I'll be able to join the ranks of the Mommy bloggers on here and give you updates on the procedure, the pregnancy, and ultimatly on being my own version of a happy single mother. Until then, just bare with me and welcome to my crazy life.

Too Many Flowers

Let me start by saying this: I am pro-choice. No I don't want to have an abortion...not ever. I don't ever want to be in a situation where I have to make a choice like that. I love children and babies. I think life is precious. I think every child is a blessing, even ones that don't come at the best of times or ones that have health problems. But I am pro-choice. Abortion is a hard decision to make for most women. Or at least that is what I think. But it is a decision that each woman has to make on her own. I won't judge. I would take all the free babies in the world if I could, but I can't. And some women just don't want kids or at least don't want the ones in their womb at that time. But I think of it as their decision, not mine. Instead I pray that they all make the right decision...whatever is best for them and what they can live with.

Now. That's out of the way. Let me say this too.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing. There are lots and lots of little children, teenagers, babies...all over the world that need nice and loving homes. Those children would be a blessing to any family, anywhere. I'm a strong supporter of putting unwanted babies up for adoption. Mother Teresa once said, "Saying there are too many children, is like saying there are too many flowers." (or something along those lines) and I agree with her. Children are a beautiful blessing upon the world. I know there is an over-population problem. But that is why family planning and sex education is so important. That way, perhaps, we can eliminate some of these "unwanted" pregnancies before they even happen. That's my opinion anyway. But for those children that are here and need a home, then adoption is an amazing thing! But as I said with abortion...I try not to judge.

But life is a gift if you choose to receive it and enjoy it. And children are blessings. And that is why I want to be a Mother so badly, that I'm willing to get artificially inseminated. I would do adoption, but the laws being the way they are, its extremely difficult for a single gal such as myself to adopt. It costs a great deal of money and I may not be allowed to adopt anyway. So I've chosen this route.

The point behind this blog however, isn't necessarily me and my journey, instead this is a comment on others.

I know quite a few pregnant ladies right now. Some of them blogging away on here.

My friend Brandon and his wife, Nikki are expecting their first child next year. Its a girl. I'm not sure on a name yet, because I'm not sure they know what they are going to be naming her. All I know is I have to buy pink stuff for them. That's fine by me. :-)

I already have pink stuff bought for my friend, Tabby and her hubby, Harold. They are expecting a new addition to their little family in December. Her name is Molly. And we are all excited to meet her. I'm in the process of planning a Birth Blessings party for Mrs. Sams (our friend Hattie is helping me) as we speak. I'll be sure to post a blog about Birth Blessings for you all to read later on, since not a lot of people are familiar with such a thing. I'm happy for Tabby because now she has a wee little miss to go with her big boy, Mikey. I'm sure he's going to be a super big brother as well.

My cousin Ashlee and her husband, Daniel are expecting their first child in February. They found out yesterday that it will be a little girl. Ashlee told me last night that they would name her Isabella and call her Bella for short. I will be Bella's Godmother. I'm excited, nervous, and very, very happy. And I know that if it works out to where Bella's Godmother gets to be in the delivery room when she makes her grand appearance in the world, then the Godmother will surely cry like a big, fat girl. But some things are worth the tears. I go tomorrow to buy Bella a car seat. I also have to help plan Bella's baby shower and Bella's Mommy's Birth Blessings party. Bella is a handful already! But a very much blessed handful. :-)

My other cousin, Travis and his wife, Melody, are expecting their second child shortly. Their first baby, Lily Raine, will be a big sister (although she's not very big right now, she turns one year old next month) to a bouncing baby boy. Travis told me a few weeks ago, that the name for said boy child will be either Whitley or Mason (but he's hoping for Mason). So congratulations to them. I have a few boy items tucked safely away in a cedar closet and I will be happy to buy a few more to take to Breathitt County for a gift for the wee one.

There are babies everywhere right now. And I have baby fever myself. But I have to wait. Which is distressing but I'm sure the right decision all the same.

That being said, there is also sad baby news.

My friend Amy and her husband Adam, found out just the other day that they had lost their wee little one. There was no heartbeat when she went for her checkup and so the doctor had to do a D&C. My heart goes out to them. My prayers too.

My other cousin, Emily and her husband, Danny, have had to withstand two heartbreaking miscarriages. The most recent one this past May. Its been very difficult on Emily. And she still struggles with it. Especially since she knows most of these same people that I do, that are currently expecting bundles of joy, and it makes it difficult for her to be there and fully participate in their happiness. I understand this. They understand this. Its just how life is sometimes. Life is never fair.

My Aunt had a miscarriage roughly 8 years ago, before she had a successful pregnancy with her daughter Summer. Summer is a blessing that just turned 7 this year. But my Aunt will tell you that even now, all these years later, she sometimes wonders about the other baby. She wonders what it would have been, what it would have looked like, the things it would have done. And I suppose Amy, Emily, and any other woman who has ever miscarried or lost a child, will always wonder such things.

I wanted to blog about these things today because it is a very up and down time emotionally in the world of babies. People are pregnant and healthy. People are pregnant and cautious. People have lost little babies that they thought and hoped were snug and safe in their tummies. People are trying and trying to have little ones. Or are giving up and taking a different route. There are women like me that are going to attempt our own way of doing things. Life is like that.

Life is a beautiful gift if you so choose to accept it. Don't waste a second of it. Don't ever doubt that you are blessed in some way. Love your life or change it until you do love it. And if you have a wee one of your own (or a not so wee one) then give them a hug today. A kiss. And tell them you love them. And when they are mean (cause all children are at some point in time), discipline them as you see fit, but do it with love. Do everything you do with love. Cause life is short, unfair, and can be quite brutal at times. So don't waste a second of it. And love everyone in it.

God bless you all. :-)